Does God like Girls better than Boys?

boys-problem-education-schools-vl-verticalIt seems perhaps an odd or needlessly provocative title with an exceedingly obvious answer. It is common knowledge after all that men are in better position overall than women in the world. Conventional wisdom in the enlightened evangelical circles in which I run likewise confirms that men have misinterpreted and misapplied scripture, supporting patriarchal narratives that deny women their god-given freedom. Secular sources tell us that women are subject to abuse at the hands of their “intimate partners” at shockingly high rates, that poverty afflicts women much more than men, and that educational systems discourage female educational achievement. The world is run by oppressive patriarchs and the church is its chief defender.

Maybe all this is true. It doesn’t change my question. And it doesn’t make this a cynical exercise or a step forward in reestablishing the rapidly collapsing patriarchal system.

Does God like Girls better than Boys?

It may surprise you, but this is not a new question for me. It is one I have pondered since I was a child growing up in church. Certainly I heard that the man was to be the head of the house, but that didn’t seem to hold any particular privilege to me. In fact it seemed rather punitive. When I grew up I could expect to have the responsibility of working hard to support my wife and children, make hard decisions, fix stuff when it broke, make sure no bad guys got in the house, beat them up if they did, make sure my wife had the clothes and miscellaneous fru fru that women always seemed interested in, and at some point die and leave an inheritance for her.

In exchange my wife would cook, clean, shop and watch soap operas unless something came up that prevented her from doing these things (like a sale) in which case she would just shop. I exaggerate of course, my mother did much more than that, and I was a kid so how accurate could my perspective be? In comparison to the lengthy command to husbands in Eph 3, the admonition to submit seemed like a really good deal.

More seriously though, I did wonder as a child if God liked girls better than boys. After all, there were more women than men in church. The main sins preached against seemed to be things that men do much more than women and the things that women struggled with seemed always to be related to something a man did to her. Being a good Christian seemed much more compatible with being a little girl than being a little boy. I was quite sure that Jesus wouldn’t run in church, or use chewing gum to glue the pages of the church bulletin together; things it seemed the boys wanted to do much more often than the girls. Jesus, as presented in the church, was the ideal man, which wasn’t a problem except following Jesus seemed the be the same as acting like the little white kids on tv at best, or acting like a girl at worst, either of which were pretty sure ways to have your masculinity called into question, or at least to get punched in lip and called a punk.

And you couldn’t retaliate. You were supposed to turn the other cheek.

Being a man seems to be fraught with the judgment of God. Am I being silly? Consider this:

▲On average, women outlive men in developed countries by five or more years;

▲Men have higher death rates for all fifteen of the leading causes of death (except Alzheimer’s);

▲Men are approximately 50% of the workforce but account for 93% of job related deaths;

▲Males between 20 and 24 have a seven times greater rate of suicide than their female counterparts, and overall, men commit suicide at rates three to four times greater than women;

▲Innocent males are between 1.5 to 2 times more likely than females to be assaulted;

▲Government funding for breast cancer research outpaces funding for prostate cancer research by nearly two to one even though prostate cancer and breast cancer have roughly the same caseload;

▲Death among young men due to testicular cancer in the 15-34 age group outpaces the number of deaths from breast cancer among women in the same age group, but good luck trying to remember the last time a commercial entity raised awareness about testicular cancer;

▲Victims of war — both combatants and, yes, non-combatants — are more likely to be male;

▲Responsible young men are charged considerably more for auto insurance than irresponsible young women, simply because they were born male;

▲A woman who commits the same crime as a man will receive, on average, only a fraction of the sentence; and

▲During FY 2007, 158,935 names and addresses of suspected violators of the duty to register with the Selective Service System were provided to the Department of Justice for possible investigation and prosecution for their failure to register, carrying a penalty up to five years in prison — every one of the violators was male — because young women are exempt from even registering.

As an adult and In the secular realm, men generally are held responsible for patriarchal oppression, and we all know that poverty will be eliminated by educating little girls and empowering women. Men on television are nearly always presented as buffoons needing to be taught their lesson by smart women and savvy children. Men die at younger ages than women, have generally poorer health, and are much more likely to be the victim of a violent crime or to go to prison. Boys are diagnosed much more frequently with learning disabilities, or punished for bad conduct in school and far less likely to graduate. Women are outpacing men in college graduation rates in nearly every field except science and mathematics, and that they do not excel there is likewise the fault of men. In fact men are pretty much responsible for everything bad in the world from nuclear proliferation to athletes’ foot, and women… well, women are rarely ever described as being responsible for anything bad in the world at all.

Maybe God likes girls better than boys.

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27 thoughts on “Does God like Girls better than Boys?

  1. Interesting article.

    Just wondering, take the 158,935 names and addresses provided to the Department of Justice example, who determined whose name will be sent and whose name will not?
    If it were a decision made only by women, then yes, I would say it is unfair. But what if the decision makers were mostly made up of males instead of females?

    Was it because young women broke less rules(which seems rather unlikely to me) or was it because th

  2. Oops, sorry I accidentally hit the “submit” button without finishing typing…

    Anyways, could it be that people have this idea that “women are weaker” and therefore they tend to sympathize women more than men?

    If so, then who put the “weak women” idea into their heads?

  3. This post is interesting to me. Being a white male with a college education and growing up in relative affluence I am constantly reminded of the sins of my predecessors. Now as I am traveling and working for a non-profit in a third world country I am reminded that part of the reason a lot of countries in central and south America are in the state they are in (poor, where the majority of people have little or no access to things like clean water, healthcare, or even reliable jobs) is a result of white rich men using our government as their own personal big stick. This just to say that for some unknown reason I feel somewhat responsible for what has happened. Not only due to my race or gender, but because I am the indirect beneficiary of many of the injustices, exploitations, and other such transgressions. As an American I have benefitted from cheap products made in other countries, I was able to afford an education pretty much because I was born into the right family (and I worked really hard, but that is secondary), and i have the capacity to one day make more money in a year than a small village in Africa could make in a liftime. All of this because US Corporations and Government are always looking out for my well being by making sure that my backyard is clean while everyone elses is dirty and used up.

    Anyway, I know I’ve thrown out a ton of issues, but since you (elderj) are the only one who is going to read this (due to this post being old and not much trafic) then I will finish up and say what I wanted to say. I don’t think God likes girls more than boys. He has historically held the Hebrew people on a higher plane than others, but that was evened out when Christ came for us all. Biologically speaking men never have to give birth to children (thank God because I heard that ish is painful). Men also don’t have menstrual cycles (That is a double thank you). And on top of that men have the ability to run faster, jump higher, lift more, and statistically be about 15% larger in stature than women. Now all of that is due to resource aquisition and sexual dimorphisms (probably due to our evolutionary heritage). All in all I don’t think it is because God likes girls better, I think he just realized he gave them a raw deal, so maybe he is trying to make up for it.

    But seriously, when I think about disparities, injustices, or gender issues, I thank Christ for coming down and giving us an example of how to live. It is so easy for us to zone in on one people group or set of problems, and ask the question does god like so and so better than this other group. God only knows the answer to that and for the time being we do what we can to bring a little salt and light into this world. Whether that is spending time with men and women in local prisons, traveling halfway around the world to be with sick people, picking up trash in your local neighborhood, or just sitting with an elderly person and letting them know they are still valuable; in the eyes of Christ, those are the things that matter.

    Anyway, your post caught my attention, sorry that I seemed to rant/preach/I don’t know what on your wall. Thanks for your insight.

    1. I don’t think God likes girls better than girls either, but I want to gentle push back on your opening statements about the affluence and privilege that you (and I) enjoy. Though Europeans and their descendants are benefiting now disproportionately from the global economy, Whites and others in the west are no more “guilty” of sin than any other racial or ethnic group. Sin is the great equalizer and it is an historic fact that people have always sought to gain economic, social and political advantage over others. Europeans were after all on the bottom of the heap during the Roman Empire, considered as barbarians and for many centuries subject to periodic invasion and oppression by other technologically superior groups (Mongols, Huns and others).

      I also take issue with the things you say about women vs. men. Men and women suffer and die in equal measure, and it is unfortunate that we often even within Christian community, seek to make a hierarchy of oppression. Gender imparts no superiority or inherent virtue either for men or women, though at times it does not feel that way.

  4. Thank you for your reply. I agree with you that sin is the great equilizer and you make a fantastic point that the cycle of political and social exploitation has been apart of the human struggle since the dawn of time. I realize that it may have been hard to understand through my randomly connected ideas that I was trying to express my opinion about oppression on a wider scale. And the idea I was trying to get across, was that we are all of us involved in oppressor, oppressee relationships whether we know it or not. With international trade as well as other causes just by living the American Lifestyle we are indirectly propegating a supply and demand disaster capitalism model which has the misfortune of leading to some pretty sad and poor situations for many people living in developing nations who don’t seem to have a voice or a say in what is happening to them. And the connection to your article was that as an American male I am placed directly into an oppressive role. Similar to being human and being fallen

    As far as my comments on the comparisons between men and women I realize now that I was being insensitive in my lame and inappropriate attempts to point out some of the pluses that men have. It was my natural reaction to an article with some eye opening facts. And I completely agree that it is unfortunate that we have such a natural tendency to oppress one another. As that connection is made with my earlier idea, I find myself constantly aware of the fact that I am constantly oppressing people. So as I process this , sometimes it feels so easy just to fall into that camp that creates structures and hierarchies which dictate that life is black and white, there are haves and have nots and that is the way God made it and there is nothing you can do about it, so enjoy what you have and don’t worry about everyone else. I understand the allure to that way of thinking and at the same moment I am repelled by it.

    In terms written by Paulo Fierer, I want to be human, and to do that I must stop dehumanizing my brothers and sisters and the only seeming way to do that is through education, dialogue, and humility. An Incarnational ministry of walking and living with brothers and sisters. Realizing that no one really has it figured out, and neither do I, so spend time getting to know the LGBT community, Support single people in the church in their singlness, lend a hand to a female pastor, and stay late with the elderly, support a womens shelter and volunteer their (I’m not really sure where this list is going or that it is directed at anyone, but I sometimes have a problem with stream of conscious dialogue that I don’t bother deleteing, so… yeah)

    Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks for the honesty and prespective.

  5. That is embarassing, there are probably many more errors than this, but I spelled Paulo Freire’s name wrong (as he is a personal hero of mine, that is really embarassing).

  6. yeah, but yall don’t have to periods, cramps & give birth to babies, have outrageous hormonal shifts & cracked nipples due to breastfeeding… that equals everything else out I think. 🙂

    1. Thanks, Grace, I agree! I loved reading this article not only because some of the facts actually were empowering, but also because the author was so whiny that it was just so funny to read, lol! Let’s sit around and complain about being white males… just hilarious. Great.

      1. ms.feminist? I know I’m a girl and you wouldn’t expect me to say this… but boys aren’t stupid. Your making it sound like their ideots… they are not. Even though i’m not a boy, it really hurts me that you would say that. I mean, could you please use your words wisely? Your message offends people, not only that, it is unfair. If I were you, I would be more careful… you could break a few hearts out there…

        both women AND (notice, I said “and”) women suffer. I don’t think it is fair to only defend one side of genders without considering the other side could be right. Male vs. Female? Who the hell said that this was a contest?

  7. I found this after Googling “Does God like men better than women?” and was very intrigued to hear the question stated in the opposite way. I put my original question in because I often struggle with women not being allowed to teach in chuch, even if they understand some subject better than the men in the church;(this, even though I feel very uncomfortable in a service with a woman pastor) about women being told to keep silent in church; about the comparison Christ is to church as man is to woman. Christ is immeasurably higher than the sinners that make up the church. Are husbands proportionately higher than their wives? I have heard a number of sermons that say that the husbands have been given the more difficult task of loving their wives – and yes, we can be very unlovable at times. However, the idea that submitting is the easier part is ridiculous. If Jesus who was perfect had a tough time in the garden subitting to the perfect will of His perfect father, I can assure you that a wife submitting to the will of a man who can sometimes be mistaken or just plain selfish is very tough at times. So I have wondered if God is still unhappy with women for what Eve did. But it was refreshing to hear what men think on the whole topic. Thanks for posting your points of view.

    1. Cheryl, I don’t think submitting is the easier part at all; it just seemed that way to me as a child. I somehow think God instructions to each (husband and wife) that they would find most difficult to do in their own strength. It seems to me that women find it easier to be “loving” than do men (being often more relationally oriented and all) and men find it easier to “submit” (since we tend to be hierarchical in orientation). So each of us has to really rely on God’s power to do right by the other.

      I certainly don’t think God is unhappy with women for what Eve did. I always thought that Adam tried to take the easy way out by blaming the woman (blaming God really) rather than owning up to his responsibility.

      1. In a way I agree with you. Wouldn’t a world be such a better place if we didn’t have sex organs!? We would then be truely equel.. sorry if this offends, its supposed to be a joke.. 😛

        If I was god (i know i could never ever be as great as him tho) or if I knew what god thought, I would guesss that he was punishing both men and women, if punishing us at all. He is very fair and just, I would never imagine him being imperfect… or with an unfair judgement…

  8. I loved your article! It was very empowering to read since men do seem to rule the world and for sure rule the religious scene. Thanks for the entertaining encouragement.

    As a research assistant in psychology though, I have to point out a confound in one of your statistics. Actually, a lot more women commit suicide. Men are just a lot more successful. (You shoot yourselves or jump off of buildings, we overdose on random pills that may or may not do the job…)

    Also, what about the fact that women who choose to remain single are far more stigmatized and face more difficulties than men who don’t marry? I’d be really interested in hearing what you have to say about that.

    Oh and by the way, I’d still rather bring in the dough and beat down the bad guys than get pregnant, give birth, and take care of the little sceamers any day.

    Thanks for everything though.

    1. agreed! Also, if you would not min me saying this. To american teenagers, if a boy has sex with lots of different girls they are classed as a ‘legend’. However, if a girl does the same with boys, they are classed as a ‘slut’ or ‘slag’. Fair? Me thinks not. It was nice to see what men think though.

  9. this interests me. If we looked at what human beings have done to the world then maybe, yes, men have it harder than women. However, we need to remember that women do have to give birth and with that come the processes that come along in puberty. Teenage girls suffer a lot of pain in their teenage years due to this where as men do not suffer quite so much. Women are assaulted by their partners significantly more than men and rape is usually involving a female victim. God created the human race with women being the ‘weaker’ sex and the sex that had to out up with pain of child birth. It is proven that women suffer sexism more than the male sex. If you look on facebook. yhe amount of pages about women doing wrong for coming out of the kitchen is astonishing. Hockey and netball (girlsports) are not aired as much as football and rugby that many people watch and make a fuss about. Although women can play these sports, women playing is not aired on television on the most viewed channels. This is because they cannot ‘play aswell’ as males. I think this proves that God must have not liked girls, or maybe cast these upon them because he thought women could cope.

  10. Thats stupid, the last time I checked God hated the female sex.

    Havn’t you heard of the witch hunts?

    “Thous shall not suffer a witch to live” Exodus 22:18 (The bible)

  11. May be Girls have emotional feelings more than Boys…May be they believe and go ahead in Loving God than Boys,who like to think from all sides before committing their feelings……….Is it not true..In any religion,surrendering to God is first rule……Girls can do naturally,they just need little love to convince…and Boys..you know…..Girls fall in Love to GIVE and we Love to take in LOVE….I think God is right..HE should LOVE Girls ,rathers than Boys……….BUT AGAIN ARE WE NOT ALL CHILDREN OF GOD,AND FOR THAT REASON,HE LET GO OUR STUPIDITY AND LOVE EQUALLY.IS HE NOT KIND…
    SAM_THE_GUY

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